Pink Vibrations

As I studied this weeks lesson, the 15th and 16th chapters of 1  Samuel. I was struck by Samuels thought process in discerning  what he thought a king should look like. He looked at the oldest  son Eliab and thought, “Now this guy looks the part. He must be  the one God will tell me to anoint.” He was good looking, tall,  young and looked, well, kingly. This was the same mistake  Israel made with Saul, he looked the part. But that is as far as it  went. He was playing a roll, he lacked the heart of a Godly king  and it showed in everything he did.  

Isn’t it funny how we look at someone in the Bible and see  exactly what their problem is, yet in our own lives we can be so  blind? This weekend I stepped all around God to avoid looking  at my heart. I took my ugliness to so many levels, surely God  was covering His eyes. Oh, He was trying to spare me from  heartache and shame, but, like Saul I was too prideful to submit.  Honestly, it felt good to feel like I was right. I was wallowing in  a sea of self-inflicted blindness. Why does that feel good?  Everything I love was falling apart!  

Bottom line, I was not obeying God. I didn’t really feel that  good, and I had some humble kneeling to do. So, as I prepared  to worship this morning, hair in place, “Pink Vibrations” lining  my lips, and headed to church. I looked the part of a faithful  follower of Jesus and not a single congregant could have seen  what was lurking inside. It was then I realized my “church”  needed to start at home, in my heart. Conviction, repentance,  forgiveness. That feels good, it feels Godly. In the midst of the  dirty storm I didn’t want to feel God’s presence. I wonder if Saul might have felt that way too. Thank you, Lord, for reeling me  back in and not giving up on me and for sending me Jesus.

By Laura Crudup